I decided to do this post as I was on Twitter at the start
of this month and I saw that the hashtag #TheySaid was trending. It basically
was people telling Twitter what hurtful things had been said to them because
they were not a certain weight or body shape. I took part in the trend and received
such beautiful words and one set of negative words. It is funny how one person
thinks to themselves “You know what I’ll do today, I will go on twitter and
ruin someone’s day”. Honestly, I saw the tweet and laughed to myself. What I
didn’t get is that they took time out of their day to tweet an insult at me.
Anyway, from that I saw all these empowered people tell Twitter (aka the whole
freaking world!) how they were body shamed and how they feel about it. It
honestly brought a tear to my eye.
In today’s society, being anything other than slim
considered shameful and wrong but why does this happen and what can we do to
stop it? I think a major part of this is that agencies employ models for
fashion shows and magazines and as we grow up, we begin to see that being “thin”,
“pretty” and “flawless” is the norm and what is considered “right” in society.
I think now that so much social media is used in this day and age, we see
something online and think “okay so I need to be that size to get certain
things”. I remember when I first watched the Kardashians, I thought to myself “Jesus,
if I just lose all that weight then I will get a boyfriend, friends and be
prettier”. Little did I know that, in just a few short months, I would see the
beauty within myself.
I am not really sure how long the process was but I am sure
it took a couple of years to actually see myself in a bright light rather than darkness.
I saw that I was actually not an ugly person and yes, I am overweight but that
is who I am and who I will always be, even if I lose the weight or not. I know
now that my body doesn’t define who I am, society doesn’t and neither do words
on paper or on a screen. In the words of Nicki Minaj:
‘I am not a word, I am not a line
I am not a girl that can ever be defined’
No one and no word will define me and they shouldn’t define
you. You are yourself and whether you love yourself or are learning to love
yourself, don’t listen to those who put you down because they are just trying
to get a reaction to get some popularity within their tiny brain.
One thing I’ve found out about trolls over the time I have
been on social media is that they only want to fill their own insecurities.
They put someone down because they know they feel bad about themselves and this
is the only way they can do it. For someone who has been bullied their whole life,
trolls could have affected my life in many different ways. I could have
listened to them, I could have gone with my depression and probably done
something bad.
There was one time I remember which has stuck with me
forever. I had just lost my virginity in and I told my three best friends at
school because I trusted them and as I was bullied by a certain guy in my year,
I did not want him to know about it. At the same time, I was being bullied
online by a group of people. He found out about me losing my virginity, started
to makes jokes around the whole of sixth form about it and when I was near,
would snigger and make a joke. I took the support group online that I was in.
Little did I know that one of the group of people who was bullying me, was in
the support group. They all found out and hit me with all these snide remarks.
That is the day I started to love myself. Yes, it was a
weird day to start loving myself but it meant to much. I went up to the
bathroom at lunch in tears and looked myself in the mirror. MY hair was down
and I had one of my favourite tops on. My make-up had ran a little down my face
but I didn’t care because I looked past that and looked at the girl underneath.
I had been still struggling badly with my depression at this point so I vowed
to help myself and the first step was loving myself. It’s taken around a year
and a bit but I know now I am pretty and no matter how other people see me,
only my opinion matters.
Now I am 19, I know that only my view of myself matters and
anyone else’s doesn’t. Yes if the comments are good, I will acknowledge them
but if they’re just telling me that I don’t look good then really they don’t matter.
I am who I am and so is everyone else. Celebrate yourself because you are the
best person you could ever be, even if sometimes you struggle.
So love yourself for who you are because you are beautiful
whatever you look like whether that being a bigger person or a smaller person.
You ARE beautiful and don’t let anyone tell you different. I hope that this
post gives you a little delve into my thoughts on this subject. If you have any
questions or comment, please don’t hesitate to comment or contact me.
I love you all you beautiful people! Have a good week!
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Katy xo
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