Something Different

Anyone who reads this blog must think I'm a happy person all of the time but that is not true. I am happy most of the time but there are times where I cannot stand life and times where I do not want to carry on. Those times are the worst for me and I hate every second of them. Normally when bad things happen to people they feel sad and upset about it but for someone with depression the feeling of sadness is heightened. I remember when I found out my mum had cancer back in March 2013, I was very sad and even got checked out and was considered mildly depressed. Then my mum died in December 2013 and my mental health decreased. I didn't talk to anyone about it because I wanted to deal with it on my own. It wasn't until starting Year 12 (September 2014) where I realised that my feelings of sadness were much more rooted and heightened than normal people's sadness. I read up on how depression affects people and saw I was feeling the same as other people who had depression. I

Is it normal to have wanted Summer for the last 3 months? Yes? Well thank god because it's what I have wanted since January. I don't know why but summer seems like it is going to be good this year. I am 18 in a month and will be with my boyfriend for some of the summer. Seems like it will be the best summer ever! I don't know what I am going to do in the summer but I hope I will be going somewhere with my boyfriend and having some time together after our exams have finished. I kind of want to go to places I went with my parents when I was younger. We always used to go to the seaside for a day and come back late at night. Those were the memories that have stuck by me. Just thinking about the past and the days I would spend with my parents. We didn't have a lot of money to spend there.We would take sandwiches and I would sit in my dad's wheelchair (we only had one seat in the back) and I would sometimes take my duvet so I could sleep on the way home. I never thought